Thursday 18 March 2010

Day 1 - Tune In

"Tuning in is the golden thread that ties all the Beyond Chocolate principles together.... It is about turning to youself for the answers, listening to your body rather than looking to the 'experts'." Beyond Chocolate

As usual, when I woke up I wasn't hungry. I tuned in and found that my stomach was saying nothing to me, but my head had a slight tightness. I thought this was due to not drinking enough fluids yesterday. I had a cup of tea (which means 0.4 litres of rooibos or green or camomile tea) and then set off on the school / nursery run. When I got home I knew I wanted to eat something but my head still felt tight and all I wanted to eat was vegetables. I cooked some courgette in olive oil but found that the sight of the oil, which is usually appealing, put me off so I drained it off. So I had tea and then my courgette. I ate it slowly and halfway through had a realisation: if I had been eating something that wasn't as 'good' as courgette, I would have stopped by now, but because it was a vegetable, it was OK to eat more than I needed. Diet mentality surfacing for a moment.

Fate intervened and I was disturbed by a visitor before I finished my one courgette. I left what was left for a while and finished it later when I felt slightly hungry again. Later I reheated a small bowl of a vegetable and chorizo creation my husband knocked up a couple of days ago. Very satisfying and ate the small amount without much pause.

Around lunchtime I found myself with a sharon fruit in my hand. I paused and tuned in. My stomach felt fine but I had a savoury flavour in my mouth that I wanted to get rid of. I had the fruit. Would I have done the same if my choice had been a cake? Don't know...

Straight after I had the sharon fruit I had a sweet taste in my mouth and wanted more. Starting to see how one thing leads to another. Decided to pause and reconsider in 10 minutes. Kept pausing and tuning in and only noticed slight tension in head still. Had tea when I tuned in to ease headache.

Had 1/2 a banana shortly after 2pm after tuning in and finding that vague hunger was building. Never saw the point of eating half a banana before but that was all it took today.

After the school pick-up the girls had a snack and I was hungry. Suddenly realised that I was thinking diet again and trying to deprive myself. Decided to have half a bagel with salted butter. When sat down, decided to eat half of it and then reconsider. The birds ate the second half in the end.

We went out at 5pm and food was provided. Ate less than instinctively but small amounts and amazed at how much people around me were eating. Pudding was ice cream with sprinkles and all the trimmings. Decided I had better ice cream at home and declined. Never had ice cream at home.

Evening changed it all - I had Cava. A whole bottle. This isn't unusual for me, but it certainly changed things. A friend had brought chocolate digestives and I had one, mostly out of politenesss, but eating it and tuning in, I realised that I wanted savoury food. Had some, and more than I needed, but less than I could have had. And so ends the day.

So, what have I noticed?

- It was useful to split what I had taken to eat into two and then eat the first half. One time I came back and ate the rest, another I didn't. Could this be the next step in the 'Stop when you are satisfied' principle?

- I tuned into other body sensations much more than usual. I noticed that I had the tension headache of dehydration for a lot of the day. This prompted me to drink tea when I could have reached for food.

- I still have a background view of it being OK to overeat 'good' foods like fruit and veg

- I really enjoyed focusing on my thought processes and behaviours. I didn't feel the need to binge before the process, although I did treat it as a bit of a diet at one stage.

- I have built on what I found out yesterday when I paused after eating my main course and found that I didn't actually want a pudding. Today I found that once I am engaged in something else, if I am no longer hungry, I don't need to come back and finish the food. But if I am still hungry I will come back and eat more.

So tomorrow it is "Eat when you are hungry". I am looking forward to it.

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