Day 4 - Eat whatver you want

"It is only when we legalise all foods and give ourselves the possibility to eat everything that we can make choices and have a truly healthy approach to weight loss" Beyond Chocolate

This was a principle that I 'got' fairly quickly when I first read BC despite 10 years of dieting and the attendant demonising of whole food types. I do struggle with being true to it, though, because I live in a village 20 minutes drive from the shops and if I find I want something that I don't have, I can't have it! So, I tend to choose from the available foods, and that is only one small step from choosing from the convenient and readily available foods, then to the foods that need eating up, and suddenly choice is gone. So I work hard on this one. One method I use it to imagine walking into a restaurant and sitting down. There is no menu to look at, and after a while a waiter comes over and asks what I would like to eat. I know that whatever I ask for, they will be able to cook for me. Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn't! So how did it go today?

I woke late and knitted for a while so when I finally came downstairs, it was late morning. I felt the first tickle of appetite around 10am and at 11.30am I was making our lunch. It was roast beef so it would be a while before it was ready so I knew I wanted to take the edge off my appetite to get me comfortably through to 1pm. I asked DD2 to hand me a banana but then I stopped and tuned in. I was in the restaurant and asking for.... .... not something sweet.... something savoury and quite bland. I opted for 1/4 of a tortilla. It was almost completely right - it was certainly the right amount and better than the banana would have been but it wasn't exactly right. More practice needed, I think.

At 1pm we had what I had been looking foward to since I bought it on Thursday: roast rib of beef, yorkshire puddings, roast parsnips, buttered boiled potatoes, cabbage and carrots, with Dave's awesome gravy and some hot horseradish sauce. I filled my tiny plate and did have a little more parsnip and another yorkshire. It was good! For pudding, I wanted a leftover mud cake with cream and ice cream. In the event, I had two and really enjoyed them.

Not long after lunch I left for an NCT reunion - a meet-up with 7 couples and their babies in a cafe/restaurant. I had a latte on arrival and some of them ordered cakes and puddings, but I wasn't at all interested. I was aware, however, that in my dieting days I would have been in a dilemma - I know I shouldn't have any cake, but I want some. But today I just knew that I didn't want any, so there was no issue of 'should' involved.

When I got home I was just starting to feel the first feelings of emptiness again and by 7.3pm I was ready to eat. But what? I looked in the fridge at the things that were immediately available and none of them were what I wanted to eat. I looked in the bread bin and saw (and smelled) bagels. That was the first thing of interest so I took one out. I looked for ham, but there was none in the fridge and I didn't want it enough to defrost any. I decided bacon was even better so got some out of the freezer and fried it. I put it into th bagel with some brie and sat down to eat it. I cut it in half and enjoyed every bite of the first half. I left the other half but instructed hubby not to touch it! I haven't been back for it, or eaten anything else tonight.

So, what have I learned today?

- I have come a long way with my eating habits
- Having food available but involving some effort (e.g. frozen) helps to focus my mind on whether I really want it
- Even if I can't put my finger on exactly what I want, I can get close by using the restaurant visualisation. To just find out if it's sweet or savoury, hot or cold helps with the level of satisfaction I get from eating the food.


I am delighted at how this 10-day focus is affecting me so far. I seem to be focusing better on all of the principles and finding I am back to my pre-Xmas state with intuitive eating. And I haven't felt like I am on a diet, either. It's not that I am doing this for 10 days then will go back to 'normal'. I am focusing again on what makes me feel good (emotionally and physically) and now that I am being more mindful, I will carry on this way. This blog has cured me of the effects of the winter depression I had this year. And it's only day 4. Imagine what I might achieve by day 10!

Tomorrow is "Put it on a plate, sit down and focus on it".