This was a tricky day because a lot of stuff was out of my control. I was on the road at 6am, arriving at a conference in Birmingham at 9am and getting home at 8.30pm. It is on these challenging days that it is easy to go with the flow, and I was determined to observe myself carefully despite being very nervous about presenting to 20 fellow teachers for the first time.
I wasn't hungry when I left home so took a stash of fruit and a flask of tea and left the house. When we arrived I was hungry so I had a banana. I later realised that there were croissants available but I didn't fancy them so that was fine. By the time we got to the coffee break at 11.30am I was pretty hungry. I found myself a pack of biscuits, which was what I fancied (and I had left the bag with my fruit in somewhere else) and had one of the two in the pack. That was enough to satisfy me and the other one is still lost in the bottom of my handbag!
At lunchtime, I'm not sure if I was hungry or not. It was the only meal I was going to get before 6pm so it was fairly academic. I saw the salad bar and there were prawns and I didn't even look at the hot food. I helped myself to prawns, smoked salmon and some salad. It was a bigger plate than I usually eat from and I had chosen 6 or so different things. I was reminded while eating of a lesson I learned fairly early on in my BC journey: I tend to eat the things on my plate that I like the least first, then work up to my favourite things. With this habit, it's no wonder I always finish my food because if I stop before it's all gone, I will be missing my favourite things. So, I spotted this and made sure I ate what I wanted to eat and when I had finished the salmon and prawns, I was satisfied. I left the rest.
But there was still room for pudding. There was a chocolate torte, a carrot cake and a very liquidy fruit salad. I fancied the chocolate, of course, but the slices were too big. I took half a slice and added cream. It was nice, but I didn't go back for the other half.
At the afternoon coffee break I scarcely had time to get myself a hot drink so food didn't figure so I clearly wasn't hungry. By the end of the conference, though, I was hungry. I ate a sharon fruit, a satsuma and a few grapes in the car and by the time we stopped at services for food, my stomach was not happy. Not sure why. I bought a prawn and chicken salad with noodles, but what really took my fancy was prawns on their own and smoked salmon on its own. This was what I had eaten at lunch and clearly I wanted more, but it was expensive so I opted for the salad. A mistake, as it turned out. The prawns in the salad were tasteless, as were the noodles. There was a lovely coconut sauce with it, but this only just made a bland dish bearable. I sat there eating it, realising that I was no longer hungry, and thinking "Am I going to eat all of this anyway?" Because I had paid for it, and the packaging meant that I couldn't take it home I was tempted, but in the end, I finished the prawns, for the texture only, and left about half of the salad and some of the chicken. Throwing it in the bin made me feel strong and powerful.
I finished the smoothie I had bought at the services after we left and that pushed my stomach too far. I felt too full for a lot of the way home. When I got home, I wasn't hungry at all but I had the chocolate egg I had bought at the services for pudding but not eaten. It made my teeth hurt but I still finished it.
So, what have I learned today?
- I tend to leave my favourite parts of the meal to the end, which makes it very difficult for me to stop when I am satisfied. When I eat the bits I want to eat, I am eating intuitively and making it possible for me to stop before the plate is clear.
- Even in difficult circumstances, I can eat intuitively. Choosing a banana over a croissant (albeit retrospectively) made me realise that I knew what I needed at that time.
- I can eat one of a two-pack of biscuits!
- I can throw away M&S food that I have paid over the odds for.
It was a very good day, in many ways. Tomorrow I think I will go back one of the principles I missed out: Eat whatever you want.
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